I have been looking ahead, trying to figure out where I need to be– or at the very least have some idea of where I am going– by the end of what has been an interesting if not trying year. Looking ahead isn’t something I like to do as I try to live in what is happening right now rather than worrying about what is hanging out there some days or months ahead. However this looking ahead has been different as it involves more dreaming rather than planning. Things I want to try, things I want to expand on or explore with more vigor than I maybe have in the past. I want to make 2016 a year of ‘doing’ not ‘damn I wish I woulda’.
Through this looking ahead, I’ve also been looking behind. Re-examining those things that have happened in my life, both the good and the bad and the best forgotten and weaving them all into something that I will eventually wrap myself up in in blanket form, embracing all of it as all of it is me.
It’s been a wonderfully freeing experience, this, the marks and the words, the images and even the simple rows of stitch. I am thinking of things that I’d thought long forgotten. Looking at some of those experiences through different eyes and finding that even those things that I thought to have buried (the whole out of sight out of mind thing) really were instrumental in molding and making me who I am today.
And I’m pretty happy with who that me is.